Meditation can be used to practice living in the ‘now’ versus being caught up in thought of past or future.
But how does that concept translate to dealing with relationships?
How do we learn to let go of relationships in the same way we practice letting go of yesterday?
I’m not talking about acquaintances, as these take minimal work.
But instead the ‘real’ friendships in our lives.
And why would we want to do that anyway?
1) Our time and energy is limited.
2) We are not serving ourselves or the relationship if we keep it going longer than necessary
So how do we decide when to let go?
Here are my suggestions.
If we start from the premise that all relationships are built on value exchange. We can then work backwards.
Ask yourself, when you first met your friend, how did they originally provide value?
Examples could be:
– Growing up together
– A friendship/allegiance at the workplace
– Living in the same geographical area, and sharing interests
Once you’ve identified the original value that the relationship provided.
Ask yourself – is the value exhibited in the past, still useful now?
Just because it was useful then, doesn’t mean it’s still useful. Things change, fast.
The answers to these questions will give you an indicator of whether the friendship is worth maintaining.
Its confronting to decide that an old friendship isn’t worth pursuing any further.
I certainly find it uncomfortable to tackle.
Growing up in a monogamous society, where marriage is supposedly for life, and many people are still friends with the people they grew up around. One starts to think that’s how life should be.
But does that make sense?
I don’t think so.
We shouldn’t let the past dictate the future.
Letting go of old friendships frees us up to make new ones. Better aligned with our present state of affairs.